aborted

under Secret Stories, Written on November 12, 2010

I was aborted by a saline infusion abortion in 1977.

However, that attempt failed at ending my life, and instead of being born dead, I was born alive on the 5th day of the abortion procedure (yes, this is an absolutely true story…feel free to visit my website to see pieces of my medical records).

Although I was initially left for dead, the nurses and doctors quickly realized that I was alive, and they provided me with the medical care needed to sustain my life.  Although I struggled with respiratory distress, seizures, jaundice, and required multiple blood transfusions and feeding through an intravenous line in my head, I was wanted.

My adoptive parents opened their hearts and their home to me, knowing full well that they were taking a chance on adopting a little girl who would probably not live for very long, and if I did survive, would more than likely be disabled.  Knowing this did not deter them.  They loved me, unconditionally, and it was their love, and the love of the doctors and nurses who cared for me that helped me to not only survive after that failed abortion attempt, but thrive.

I may have been an “accident” (given name) to my biological parents, who were young college students at the time, but by the grace of God, my life took on new meaning.

It wasn’t until I was 14 years old that I found out the truth about my life, that I wasn’t simply given the beautiful gift of an adoption plan by my biological parents, but I had been aborted first.  Certainly, it was God’s plan for my life that I am who I am, but I struggled with it for many years.

All of the given names of “aborted child,” “unwanted,” “unloved,” “accident,” “just a blob of tissue,” “choice,” “replaceable,” all took a toll on me from age 14 on.  As much as I loved God, and knew He loved me and saved me for great purposes, I was burdened by the given names and fell silent to the world around me.  I tried hard to excel in every other part of my life, in order to avoid facing the one true thing that the Lord saved me to do–share the Gospel of truth about abortion and about Him with the world.

It wasn’t until I wrestled with God over those years and finally accepted who I am and who He truly is to me that I was able to fully received my Secret Name, embrace it, and live it out fully in the world through Him.

I am now an international pro-life and Christian speaker, a Christian counselor, and most importantly, a mother.  I am so grateful to the Lord for not only saving my life, but allowing me to wrestle with Him long enough to learn my name and be prepared for the fights that I fight in the world today.

I am no longer an “accident,”  I am WONDERFULLY MADE! This book helped to solidify for me that I am who I am, and I am doing exactly what it is that He intended for me to do.  Thanks for the great book, Kary!