under Secret Stories, Written on March 4, 2011

Overall, loved this book. Like I have said before, it’s not my “typical” fare, but I appreciated the chance to look at myself a little more deeply than I usually do. When all was said and done, here are two names that I want to remember for myself – I now know that God calls me:


Let me take a moment to explain each one, if you’re interested.

I’ve never read anything by Beth Moore, but on many of the blogs I read, people are always talking about how great she is, so a year or two ago, I considered picking up her latest book. However, then I saw it was called So Long Insecurity. I am chuckling now as I write this because I can’t believe I actually did/thought this, but I honestly said to myself, “I don’t need to read that. I am very secure in myself. I don’t think I’m insecure at all. Oh well, I guess Beth Moore’s not for me.”

Well, I still haven’t read any Beth Moore books, but as you might guess, even without the help of her book, over the past year or two, I have recognized that perhaps I am not quite as “secure” as I thought I was. I think this insecurity has always existed, but I just didn’t realize it until now (and my response to the Beth Moore book actually was one of the things that helped me recognize it.)

I feel insecure socially. I worry about saying or doing the right thing. There are times when I find myself nearly paralyzed from helping someone or talking to someone (especially strangers) because I am so afraid I will look foolish.

I feel insecure in terms of safety, as I try to fall asleep at night but can’t for fear of carbon monoxide poisoning, kidnappers, spiders, or pinecones falling onto our roof, which sound suspiciously like a home invader out on our deck at three o’clock in the morning.

I feel insecure as I look at myself in the mirror, or listen to myself teach adult Bible study, or write blog posts.

As I’ve read through Your Secret Name, and as I led several devotion times on the ideas from Your Secret Name at a winter retreat last month, this insecurity has become very apparent.

Thankfully, though, it’s an insecurity which has pointed me to God, my Security and Refuge.

In Him, I know I am SECURE.

Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is SECURE, he will have no fear… (Psalm 112:6-8a)

Likewise, over the course of this read-along, I discovered another (related) Given Name of mine: Not Sought Out. I often think of myself as someone who people don’t seek out. Sure, they enjoy me if I’m around, but I’m not someone who everyone comes running to be with. In college, with a few exceptions, I rarely had anyone knock on the door of my dorm room to say hello or ask if I wanted to hang out. At parties or other social gatherings, I rarely find people approaching me to talk or sit next to me. I’m always the one who has to seek out other people, or try to place myself in a position where I can join in a conversation, or find something to do.

This isn’t a knock at the people I went to college with, or the people I hang out with now… just a recent realization that there are times when I find myself wishing someone would come find me.

Yet again, I discovered at our winter retreat that I am SOUGHT OUT. God seeks me and cares about me. Seriously, pretty incredible. No offense to my friends, but I think I’d rather have the God of the universe seek me out any day. 🙂

For the Son of Man came to SEEK and to save what was lost. (Luke 19:10)

Thanks, Kary, for your great book, and thanks, Marla, for putting together this read-along!

Fear not, for I have redeemed you… I have called you by name, you are Mine! Isaiah 43:1