Alcoholic

under Secret Stories, Uncategorized, Written on April 15, 2012

This past year and a half has been an interesting journey for me.  From the outside I appeared very normal, dependable, calm, and easy going but inside my head I was battling a full out war……exhausting.   I finally couldn’t keep it together any more and I got ‘found out’ but to my dismay, the most devastating day in my life came and went and I was still standing.

I was filled with feelings of shame, grief and self loathing, but still standing none the less.  I am able to look back now and only be disgusted by how much time and energy I wasted and laugh at how much power and control I thought I had possessed.  God was there all the time with a gentle smile just waiting for me to cry uncle.

Through a series of events He place me where I would be surrounded by safe, loving and caring people to help guide my recovery and my discovery of how wonderful Gods grace is.  I have a magnet on my refrigerator that I love that shows a little girl standing in a wet dress with wet hair after a rain,looking upwards with her hands raised.  The caption says “just when you think you will never smile again….life comes back”.

I can’t give an inspirational prayer and I don’t speak church language very well, but I am safe and loving and filled with courage, perseverance and joy.

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