With my birth name meaning “gift from God” and having survived a number of suicide attempts I’m inclined to think God has a special plan for me. The problem is even after thinking God has healed me and helped me conquer depression and cutter, it’s still an on going battle. The enemy brings the same attacks over and over making me feel unloved and unnoticed.

I was once called unstable when I was struggling with depression and cutting but it still rings in my head at times because of the ongoing battle. It’s like I’m stuck in between healing and not yet being that ruthless fearless faith warrior I’m meant to be. I’m still struggling with God like Jacob did, not relenting until I receive my blessing.

On the other hand I think I may be after the wrong blessing or at least one for the wrong reasons. Perhaps God is not delivering the blessing I desire because I’m not yet ready or because what I want will be a hindrance to walking with God. Whatever the reason, I know I need to trust God’s provision even though we all know it’s so easy to give in to discouragement.

I am so blessed to have heard you on Stephanie Riggs yesterday. I struggled with my name as a child and at 30 changed my birth name Stacy. I have been Anastasia now for over 20 years and came to know Jesus as Savior 5 years after changing it. I have learned what it is to have a new name and live the resurrection that He gave me. I wish everyone could get it. I thought it was identity but you have narrowed it down to name. It is why psychology does not work. They just add more labels to us. Thank you for a better understanding.

I think that sin gives us names as well. When we give in to temptation the accuser calls us every name in the book.

My family used my given name against me, I still cringe with what they called me, but Jesus said to be his disciple. I had to listen to His voice and yes I am His. I’m called child, daughter, beautiful, bride, little girl, beloved, blood bought.

Thank you again. I am buying your book!

In the Beloved,

~Anastasia~