I was raised in a traditional Christian home and was six years old when I learned Jesus wanted to save me from my sins at Vacation Bible School and asked Him to be my Savior.

However, even as I went to church every Sunday, sang all the Bible songs, and learned about God, there were other influences in my life, and because of those influences I became absolutely fascinated by the occult. Ghosts, witches, mediums, psychics, haunted houses…I was interested in it all.

When I was nine years old I wanted to be a fortune teller when I grew up (or a missionary in Africa..go figure). I have no idea how I learned about palm or card reading, but I found it fascinating.

As a teenager, I started reading the Bible myself and learned God warned against all the practices I thought were interesting. I loved God and didn’t want to offend Him, so I stopped participating in occult games. The problem is the interest didn’t go away, I simply pushed it aside and did the best I could to be a good Christian. As I grew older, I married a Christian man and was raising my children to be Christian

My husband and I loved God and wanted to serve Him. We were very active in church.  I knew a relationship with God was based on His mercy but somehow over the years I forgot that truth and began listening to others who suggested to be a “real Christian” you had to follow certain rules or live a certain way to be godly. You had to be “perfect”.

As a result, I became very legalistic, replacing a relationship based on grace and faith for strict religion and a desire to be “the perfect Christian”.

Over time as I worked to be godly through my own efforts, I also became angry and confused when all my efforts seemed to be ignored by God. Depression began affecting all areas of my life and eventually I stopped reading the Bible and gave up on prayer.

In 1999, I came to the conclusion that Christianity wasn’t working for me.  I believed I could never be “good enough” to meet the legalistic standards of perfection I believed were necessary to please God, so after twenty-nine years in the church…I left.

Being a person of faith, however, I knew I couldn’t live in a spiritual vacuum. Jumping feet first into the spiritual unknown, I decided to explore Wicca (a goddess/earth-based pagan religion incorporating witchcraft) I first learned about in 1995. I began to study anything I could find, surfing the internet, joining pagan message boards, and befriending those with like mind or who could answer my questions.  I studied mythology,and learned about herbs, crystals, colors, as well as divination techniques such as the tarot and pendulum.  While I eventually decided Wicca wasn’t for me, I committed myself to witchcraft, embracing it as my new spiritual path.

Over the next several years I also began exploring other areas of the occult, especially psychic development, eventually becoming a Clairesentient Medium and a ghost hunter.

Thankfully, despite turning my back on Him, God was not about to let me go easily. The Holy Spirit was always there, reminding me of His presence and convicting me of my sin. Even when I began to believe the lie that I could meld witchcraft and Christianity in my own form of “personal spirituality”, God continued to pursue me with the truth.

Finally, after eight years in the occult, God’s truth finally broke through my deception and malaise, setting me free.  I confessed my sin and renounced all I had done over eight long years and recommitted my life completely to Jesus Christ.

I was no longer “Legalistic”. I recognized I was truly “Accepted” by God through His grace and my life was restored.

What I experienced during my eight year spiritual journey was often dark and difficult, but I’m thankful for having walked through it. Now I’m firmly set in the center of God’s will.

No matter where I go from here, I will serve Him. My prayer is God will use my experiences to bring Him glory, reveal the truth of His never ending mercy, grace, and forgiveness to all, encouraging anyone who might be on a similar journey to never stop seeking Him. (Kristine McGuire)

I was saved as a Senior in High School in December of 1986.  I had been involved in the occult and had seen (and heard) many strange things.  Over Christmas break, I picked up a rather thick commentary on the Book of Revelation, and read the entire thing.  I accepted Christ as my Savior when I read Revelation 21:21.  Thereafter, my entire life changed, and even though I didn’t know anything about going to church, I read the Bible voraciously.

That summer, I was sitting in the driveway, leaning against the garage door, when the Lord spoke to me very powerfully the words of Haggai 2:23:

In that day, saith the LORD of hosts, will I take thee, O Zerubbabel, my servant, the son of Shealtiel, saith the LORD, and will make thee as a signet: for I have chosen thee, saith the LORD of hosts.

I read the words but they were aimed DIRECTLY AT ME.  I was in shock.  I closed up the Bible, and refused to even look into it any further for over a year; it took me about 5 years before I could mention it to anyone else.

I eventually studied it out, and found that the name ‘Zerubbabel’ means (as far as they can tell), ‘scattered in Babylon.’  Big whoop, huh?

I continued to look for answers.  Eventually, the Lord spoke to me through Zechariah 4:7:

Who art thou, O great mountain? before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain: and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, Grace, grace unto it.

This verse has greatly shaped my life as I have studied God’s Grace and found freedom from religion, etc. But I still didn’t understand.  Why this name?  Why “scattered in Babylon”?

Last month, 25 years after the first revelation of this name, I went on a missions trip to Azerbaijan.  The week before we left, our team leader told us that the ‘book for the trip’ was to be Haggai; the missionary in Azerbaijan had chosen this as the source for our devotions while we were there.  My ears perked up; I knew something else was going to be revealed.  While in Azerbaijan, the Lord showed me that Zerubbabel’s mother had named him based on her current conditions, not based on what God could do in his life. Zerubbabel was NOT scattered, nor was he in Babylon!  He was in Jerusalem building the Temple!  (Sometimes the labels other people give us are completely wrong!)

Today, I realize that this is a church planter’s name.  ‘My birth name, Christopher’, means ‘one who bears Christ,’ like an evangelist, but ‘Zerubbabel’ is the name of a man who lays the foundation of a new work for God.  And he finishes it by God’s GRACE.

I look forward to seeing how God continues to unfold this name in my life.  It is extremely humbling to tell this story, and I feel very vulnerable sharing it, but I think it may help others.