Want to bring a YSN event to your context?

Smart move. Download our powerpoint HERE.

See what thousands of others have experienced at their YSN event. 

(takes 1 min. to download – grab a quick coffee while you wait)

I just finished reading Your Secret Name this morning (12/27).  I found the book interesting but did not feel particularly moved by it in any way. 

As I neared the end of the book I began to ask God in my prayers to reveal my secret name to me.  Still I finished the book wondering.  I took the test on line and could not really relate strongly to any of the given names…still wondering.  So I decided to click the “stories” tab.

My husband is depressed.  He hides it well and escapes it daily with habits that are not healthy for him.  He goes up and down with his moods but no one would ever guess he is depressed.  Saddest of all, he does not know Jesus. I am the only saved soul in my family, newly baptized this Fall.  After years of being a loyal Catholic and very comfortable in my faith, I am now searching deeper everyday to know Jesus.

It is a new life for me, one I want desperately to share with my family.  A few weeks ago I met with my Pastor’s wife to discuss how my role as a wife could change to make my husband happier and more complete.  I want to learn what God intends for me to be a s a wife and have been struggling with changing my habits and desires to create a better marriage.

I think one of the Secret Stories has shed light on my Secret Name.  Maybe I am Hope.  Hope for my marriage, my husband, my family and most of all Hope for me to hear God’s will and live it.

This blog for me has become a source of therapy. I know a few of my friends asked me to start blogging probably because they wanted to see cute pictures of my kids. Sorry, that’s what’s Facebook is for, so if you want to see pretty pictures of my gorgeous children by all means, Facebook is where it’s at!. Here, I share my heart.

A few months ago I became acquainted with a Christian author named Kary Oberbrunner who has written a new book entitled, Your Secret Name.

He sent me an email this summer, before his book was released, and invited me to submit a song that I had written to be used in his promotions. I have yet to finish the recording of the song, even though my plans are still in the works. Musicians are a shady lot, I tell ya! But this book, song, and idea of my very own God-given secret name has been transforming my life. I have yet to read the book, and plan to treat myself to it as a Christmas gift. But the concept is, as I said, life-altering. His premise is Revelation 2:17

… To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.

As I have heard more and more about the book, and more importantly, the concept that God has a new name for us, I have become so intrigued. But that led to frustration. You see, there’s a test you can take on the book’s website that gives you a list of things from which to choose. You can choose things like “Abandoned”, “Lazy”, “Ignorant“, etc. All labels that the world has put on people, their names, if you will. I didn’t truly identify with any name but one: “Misfit”. That’s how I feel most of the time. Just a little bit out of place. The name they suggested for me, as an example of what God might call me was “Welcomed“. hmmm…

Not so much. Welcomed, that’s okay, but my name? I was a little irritated by the thought of others finding their names and myself being stuck with Welcomed. The stories others would tell said things like “I found the beautiful name God has given me, and I totally identify with my new name: “Hope”, “Beloved”, “Free“, etc. I didn’t “feel” it. I became a little frustrated and even irritated at God for not showing me my own name. I didn’t like “Welcomed”, I didn’t FEEL welcomed even if I knew that He’d never shun me, I didn’t want that to be my name. I chose “Misfit” and I wanted something like “Perfect Fit For My Plan”… but that’s impractical, now isn’t it? I mean, we’ve given up names like Sitting Bull or Shining Star in the Night when our ancestors decided to marry the British who frowned upon such things!

You see, a few years ago, I began to pray very candidly. I begin to tell God that he’s just got the wrong girl for this job. I wanted to move. I WANT to move! I don’t fit in here by any stretch of the imagination. I have found my niche, don’t get me wrong. I love working with my kids and my husband. I love teaching. But rarely a day goes by where I am not reminded that I’m the foreigner in this foreign land! And that feeling of discomfort and just not fitting in nearly drove me insane. I tried to conform. I tried to please if not one side, the other. If not all, some… and I failed miserably and literally lost the essence of who I truly am along the way.

In the past couple years, however, I have begun to skip all the politics, and ask God if at least he still wanted me. Could I fit in to his plan still? Because I sure wasn’t feeling cut out for the stuff I thought that I was supposed to do.

And so, you see, this book – this concept – caught me along my soul-searching journey. Along my road to finding out who “Shelly” is. But that’s not really what matters, I have found. It’s what God knows me as that matters. About two or three weeks ago, God was so gracious to understand my frustration and hear my cry. I was asked to do something I am not completely comfortable doing and I automatically said “yes” without hesitation. I don’t know what I was thinking! Oh the battle that went on within me, trying to find an excuse to get out of it!

The excuses didn’t come, so the prayers increased.

I just ended up telling God, “But I really don’t think I’m good enough to do this without being ridiculed AGAIN!”

And then, in that inaudible, lovely voice, He spoke ever so clearly.

“You’re Enough for me!”

That’s it! That’s my name!

ENOUGH

Maybe it isn’t something you would choose, or even identify with. Maybe it wouldn’t speak to you like it did to me. Maybe it isn’t fancy, but it’s me.

It wasn’t about taking a test, though it works so well for some. What a help it is to see the opposite word of how the world sees you in bold print, right in front of your face! God sees you like that.

But for me, it was more than the test could give, and I am sure exactly what the author had in mind! It is a personal realization that God sees you in a way only he can. It is as unique as your own fingerprint.

For me, “Enough” is MORE THAN enough!

What’s your name?

–Shelly

I was raised in a traditional Christian home and was six years old when I learned Jesus wanted to save me from my sins at Vacation Bible School and asked Him to be my Savior.

However, even as I went to church every Sunday, sang all the Bible songs, and learned about God, there were other influences in my life, and because of those influences I became absolutely fascinated by the occult. Ghosts, witches, mediums, psychics, haunted houses…I was interested in it all.

When I was nine years old I wanted to be a fortune teller when I grew up (or a missionary in Africa..go figure). I have no idea how I learned about palm or card reading, but I found it fascinating.

As a teenager, I started reading the Bible myself and learned God warned against all the practices I thought were interesting. I loved God and didn’t want to offend Him, so I stopped participating in occult games. The problem is the interest didn’t go away, I simply pushed it aside and did the best I could to be a good Christian. As I grew older, I married a Christian man and was raising my children to be Christian

My husband and I loved God and wanted to serve Him. We were very active in church.  I knew a relationship with God was based on His mercy but somehow over the years I forgot that truth and began listening to others who suggested to be a “real Christian” you had to follow certain rules or live a certain way to be godly. You had to be “perfect”.

As a result, I became very legalistic, replacing a relationship based on grace and faith for strict religion and a desire to be “the perfect Christian”.

Over time as I worked to be godly through my own efforts, I also became angry and confused when all my efforts seemed to be ignored by God. Depression began affecting all areas of my life and eventually I stopped reading the Bible and gave up on prayer.

In 1999, I came to the conclusion that Christianity wasn’t working for me.  I believed I could never be “good enough” to meet the legalistic standards of perfection I believed were necessary to please God, so after twenty-nine years in the church…I left.

Being a person of faith, however, I knew I couldn’t live in a spiritual vacuum. Jumping feet first into the spiritual unknown, I decided to explore Wicca (a goddess/earth-based pagan religion incorporating witchcraft) I first learned about in 1995. I began to study anything I could find, surfing the internet, joining pagan message boards, and befriending those with like mind or who could answer my questions.  I studied mythology,and learned about herbs, crystals, colors, as well as divination techniques such as the tarot and pendulum.  While I eventually decided Wicca wasn’t for me, I committed myself to witchcraft, embracing it as my new spiritual path.

Over the next several years I also began exploring other areas of the occult, especially psychic development, eventually becoming a Clairesentient Medium and a ghost hunter.

Thankfully, despite turning my back on Him, God was not about to let me go easily. The Holy Spirit was always there, reminding me of His presence and convicting me of my sin. Even when I began to believe the lie that I could meld witchcraft and Christianity in my own form of “personal spirituality”, God continued to pursue me with the truth.

Finally, after eight years in the occult, God’s truth finally broke through my deception and malaise, setting me free.  I confessed my sin and renounced all I had done over eight long years and recommitted my life completely to Jesus Christ.

I was no longer “Legalistic”. I recognized I was truly “Accepted” by God through His grace and my life was restored.

What I experienced during my eight year spiritual journey was often dark and difficult, but I’m thankful for having walked through it. Now I’m firmly set in the center of God’s will.

No matter where I go from here, I will serve Him. My prayer is God will use my experiences to bring Him glory, reveal the truth of His never ending mercy, grace, and forgiveness to all, encouraging anyone who might be on a similar journey to never stop seeking Him. (Kristine McGuire)

The song she refers to in her Secret Story (see below).