I find it completely fascinating to watch God work throughout my life the last few weeks. I have been struggling with various things- one of them being the masks that I (and most people) tend to wear. I was having this conversation the other day with a friend that I don’t want to wear a mask at church- or in life. Next thing I know- God is working through circumstances to show me that masks (aka labels) have often been controlling my life and affecting who I *think* I am.

Last weekend we had a Ladies Event at church and the lady who spoke shared with us the damage labels can do to a person and how when we truly come to accept Christ’s love and mercy in our lives we gain new labels of who Christ says we are. Just very needed at the time.

Then, this weekend, while at my parents’ house for Thanksgiving I spent some time reading a book that I ran across in the local Christian bookstore (Cedar Springs). The name of the book- Your Secret Name by Kary Oberbrunner. It dealt along the same vein- Names are powerful things- parents spend hours/days/weeks/months poring over names for their future children. Many times the name is picked by how it all sounds together but still other times names are chosen based on their meaning. We have given names- names that we have gained through our circumstances, through our choices. We also have Secret names- the names that God whispers to us that tell us who we REALLY are.

This book was very timely- and in fact, I actually dealt with this exact issue while I was reading the book. My given name was unloved, unworthy of love (not from my parents- I have always felt loved with them). This has been something that I have been struggling with quite some time- when I finished reading the book- I knew my secret name- and it goes back to my favorite verse- Zephaniah 3:17- I am “Delighted In“. I know that I am loved, and am worthy of love.

I would encourage everyone to read this book and recognize your Given Name(s) and then rest in your Secret Names… –Tami Grandi

This blog for me has become a source of therapy. I know a few of my friends asked me to start blogging probably because they wanted to see cute pictures of my kids. Sorry, that’s what’s Facebook is for, so if you want to see pretty pictures of my gorgeous children by all means, Facebook is where it’s at!. Here, I share my heart.

A few months ago I became acquainted with a Christian author named Kary Oberbrunner who has written a new book entitled, Your Secret Name.

He sent me an email this summer, before his book was released, and invited me to submit a song that I had written to be used in his promotions. I have yet to finish the recording of the song, even though my plans are still in the works. Musicians are a shady lot, I tell ya! But this book, song, and idea of my very own God-given secret name has been transforming my life. I have yet to read the book, and plan to treat myself to it as a Christmas gift. But the concept is, as I said, life-altering. His premise is Revelation 2:17

… To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.

As I have heard more and more about the book, and more importantly, the concept that God has a new name for us, I have become so intrigued. But that led to frustration. You see, there’s a test you can take on the book’s website that gives you a list of things from which to choose. You can choose things like “Abandoned”, “Lazy”, “Ignorant“, etc. All labels that the world has put on people, their names, if you will. I didn’t truly identify with any name but one: “Misfit”. That’s how I feel most of the time. Just a little bit out of place. The name they suggested for me, as an example of what God might call me was “Welcomed“. hmmm…

Not so much. Welcomed, that’s okay, but my name? I was a little irritated by the thought of others finding their names and myself being stuck with Welcomed. The stories others would tell said things like “I found the beautiful name God has given me, and I totally identify with my new name: “Hope”, “Beloved”, “Free“, etc. I didn’t “feel” it. I became a little frustrated and even irritated at God for not showing me my own name. I didn’t like “Welcomed”, I didn’t FEEL welcomed even if I knew that He’d never shun me, I didn’t want that to be my name. I chose “Misfit” and I wanted something like “Perfect Fit For My Plan”… but that’s impractical, now isn’t it? I mean, we’ve given up names like Sitting Bull or Shining Star in the Night when our ancestors decided to marry the British who frowned upon such things!

You see, a few years ago, I began to pray very candidly. I begin to tell God that he’s just got the wrong girl for this job. I wanted to move. I WANT to move! I don’t fit in here by any stretch of the imagination. I have found my niche, don’t get me wrong. I love working with my kids and my husband. I love teaching. But rarely a day goes by where I am not reminded that I’m the foreigner in this foreign land! And that feeling of discomfort and just not fitting in nearly drove me insane. I tried to conform. I tried to please if not one side, the other. If not all, some… and I failed miserably and literally lost the essence of who I truly am along the way.

In the past couple years, however, I have begun to skip all the politics, and ask God if at least he still wanted me. Could I fit in to his plan still? Because I sure wasn’t feeling cut out for the stuff I thought that I was supposed to do.

And so, you see, this book – this concept – caught me along my soul-searching journey. Along my road to finding out who “Shelly” is. But that’s not really what matters, I have found. It’s what God knows me as that matters. About two or three weeks ago, God was so gracious to understand my frustration and hear my cry. I was asked to do something I am not completely comfortable doing and I automatically said “yes” without hesitation. I don’t know what I was thinking! Oh the battle that went on within me, trying to find an excuse to get out of it!

The excuses didn’t come, so the prayers increased.

I just ended up telling God, “But I really don’t think I’m good enough to do this without being ridiculed AGAIN!”

And then, in that inaudible, lovely voice, He spoke ever so clearly.

“You’re Enough for me!”

That’s it! That’s my name!

ENOUGH

Maybe it isn’t something you would choose, or even identify with. Maybe it wouldn’t speak to you like it did to me. Maybe it isn’t fancy, but it’s me.

It wasn’t about taking a test, though it works so well for some. What a help it is to see the opposite word of how the world sees you in bold print, right in front of your face! God sees you like that.

But for me, it was more than the test could give, and I am sure exactly what the author had in mind! It is a personal realization that God sees you in a way only he can. It is as unique as your own fingerprint.

For me, “Enough” is MORE THAN enough!

What’s your name?

–Shelly

One morning a few weeks ago I was spending way too much time on Facebook while sipping my morning tea and I came across a link posted by a friend. The link was to a website promoting a new book called Your Secret Name by Kary Oberbrunner.

The premise of the book is that as we journey through life we pick up names based on what others speak over us, or experiences that we have had, or choices that we have made. Some examples of those names could be ABANDONED or FEARFUL or REJECTED or FAILURE…you get the idea. In his book, Kary relays the fact that God has given each one of us a new name based on the verse in Revelation 2:17 that says:

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.

On the website there is a box you can click on that says, “TAKE THE TEST” (to find out what your secret name might be).

Now, I have to admit I was a little skeptical at first and was thinking maybe it was a little gimmicky but I am a sucker for those kinds of tests so I proceeded. As I looked through the list of potential names that I may have acquired the one that jumped out at me was DEPRESSED. I could have picked a few but I have battled that several times in my life so I really related to that one. I clicked on it and the next page said:

God’s secret name for you could be: HOPE

 

When I read the name HOPE it resonated with me so deeply that I took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly as if I was actually breathing it in and allowing it to move through me. I thought…yeah…my secret name is definitely HOPE. I’ve known it for some time now. Hope is what has gotten me through many seasons and it’s become my story. It’s what drives me to want to reach out to others and share it. If you’ve ever felt hopeless then you know what I mean. Once you grasp it you want to give it away because there is an unending supply – plenty to go around.

So that was pretty cool but it gets better…

After I shut off my computer, I went about my day and ended up at the International Mall (don’t know how that happened!) Mid-way through my shopping excursion I decided to stop at Starbucks for my afternoon pick-me-up. I ordered my Grande Cafe Misto with whipped cream. My barista grabbed a cup and her pen and started to ask my name as they usually do. Here’s how it went…

Looking down at the cup she started to say,

 “What’s your name” but then she looked up and only got out “What’s your…” before she stopped mid-sentence, cocked her head to the side and said decidedly, “I’m going to call you HOPE“. Then she wrote it as my name on my cup!!

I was absolutely speechless. I must have gone white as a ghost because I was so shocked. I just stood there staring at her like “How did you know my secret name???????????????” She quickly realized that she had completely freaked me out so she started pointing at my shirt and said, “you know…HOPE” with this really nervous pleading smile. Poor girl!

Apparently in my rush to get dressed that morning I had thrown on my shirt that says HOPEand then (because I have serious short term memory issues) had totally forgotten that I had it on. Here I was thinking she was an angel from heaven disguised as a Starbucks barista confirming my secret name to me in person and she was just naming me from my shirt!

Anyway, I go to Starbucks a lot. I wear shirts that say things on them quite often. I have never had anyone write anything on my cup besides the name I have given them. Sooooo even though she was just a regular earthly barista I thought it was a pretty awesome coincidence!! I wish I could have told her the story but there was an enormous line behind me. I just smiled and told her that she had just made my day. That seemed to make hers 🙂

I had the pleasure of speaking with Kary (the author) on the phone about his ministry. He is passionate about the same things that we are at For the Girls International – helping people discover who God created them to be and helping them live out their purpose in freedom and grace!

So what is your secret name? Check out the website when you have a minute. What you find out might surprise you or maybe confirm what you’ve known all along.  –Tracey Metzger

The song she refers to in her Secret Story (see below).

I was aborted by a saline infusion abortion in 1977.

However, that attempt failed at ending my life, and instead of being born dead, I was born alive on the 5th day of the abortion procedure (yes, this is an absolutely true story…feel free to visit my website to see pieces of my medical records).

Although I was initially left for dead, the nurses and doctors quickly realized that I was alive, and they provided me with the medical care needed to sustain my life.  Although I struggled with respiratory distress, seizures, jaundice, and required multiple blood transfusions and feeding through an intravenous line in my head, I was wanted.

My adoptive parents opened their hearts and their home to me, knowing full well that they were taking a chance on adopting a little girl who would probably not live for very long, and if I did survive, would more than likely be disabled.  Knowing this did not deter them.  They loved me, unconditionally, and it was their love, and the love of the doctors and nurses who cared for me that helped me to not only survive after that failed abortion attempt, but thrive.

I may have been an “accident” (given name) to my biological parents, who were young college students at the time, but by the grace of God, my life took on new meaning.

It wasn’t until I was 14 years old that I found out the truth about my life, that I wasn’t simply given the beautiful gift of an adoption plan by my biological parents, but I had been aborted first.  Certainly, it was God’s plan for my life that I am who I am, but I struggled with it for many years.

All of the given names of “aborted child,” “unwanted,” “unloved,” “accident,” “just a blob of tissue,” “choice,” “replaceable,” all took a toll on me from age 14 on.  As much as I loved God, and knew He loved me and saved me for great purposes, I was burdened by the given names and fell silent to the world around me.  I tried hard to excel in every other part of my life, in order to avoid facing the one true thing that the Lord saved me to do–share the Gospel of truth about abortion and about Him with the world.

It wasn’t until I wrestled with God over those years and finally accepted who I am and who He truly is to me that I was able to fully received my Secret Name, embrace it, and live it out fully in the world through Him.

I am now an international pro-life and Christian speaker, a Christian counselor, and most importantly, a mother.  I am so grateful to the Lord for not only saving my life, but allowing me to wrestle with Him long enough to learn my name and be prepared for the fights that I fight in the world today.

I am no longer an “accident,”  I am WONDERFULLY MADE! This book helped to solidify for me that I am who I am, and I am doing exactly what it is that He intended for me to do.  Thanks for the great book, Kary!