You have to give up to go up. Especially on March 3rd.

under Secret Stories, Written on February 24, 2012

It’s called the Law of Sacrifice – You need to give up to go up (Thanks John Maxwell).

  • Next Saturday at our Your Secret Name Conference, you could learn how to be more free.
  • You could learn more about who you are and whose you are.
  • You could learn more about your purpose and destiny.

But to do that, you’d have to give up something.

  • Time
  • Money
  • Routine
  • Staying Home

But most would rather not. So most people get exactly what they want – nothing. They don’t want freedom, hope, or purpose enough to invest in it. They don’t believe in themselves, enough to make a change. And so they stay the same.

If you’re willing to invest $30 and 8 hours in your future, then join us next Saturday March 3rd in Powell. And if you’re not completely satisfied I will refund your ticket, no questions asked.

Need proof that it’s worth your sacrifice? Read these 10 testimonies or watch this video.

Is it time you join our Secret Name Team?

under Secret Stories, Written on January 4, 2012

If you’ve read Your Secret Name, then you know how God has used it to change lives. If you haven’t read it, then simply browse some of the Secret Stories to see for yourself.

We believe God wants us to gather a team in order to spread the message. And so, this is exactly what we’ve done. We’ve formed an International team and we’re growing every week. Why not consider joining us in spreading hope to those who need it most.

More about the Independent Speaker and Trainer Certification Program:

You will be certified to speak and train any individual or group anywhere in the world utilizing the Your Secret Name curriculum, products and books as outlined in the program.  (You keep 100% of the proceeds, honorariums and income you receive.)


under Secret Stories, Written on November 5, 2011

I want to thank you for coming to LBC this past week. I must say, I wasn’t planning on going to chapel this week due to the many projects I have due in the next few weeks. But, for whatever reason, I decided to go, and was absolutely captivated by your words.

I decided to go hear you speak on Wednesday night in the chapel, and truly thought that it would go in one ear and out the other, but I prayed that God would allow something you say to change me. I’m not emotional – never have been, but cried when you said to invite God into the painful situation I went through.

I have always given myself the name “Ugly,” because that’s what my mom told me one night when I was in Kindergarten. I was 5 then. I’m 21 now, and have lived with that name for 16 years. I’ve been bulimic/anorexic for 8 years… because I’ve always seen myself as ugly. Wednesday night, God gave me the name “Beautifully Created.”

As I was praying that night, God reminded me of many verses that I haven’t thought about for years… Psalm 139:14-16 and Psalm 45:11. I’m so thankful to have had you here at LBC to speak. If it weren’t for God bringing you here, I would still have the name Ugly. I pray that God blesses you richly for the way you have blessed me.


under Secret Stories, Written on October 1, 2011

Every second of every single day, is a battle. A battle between myself and society, and often a battle within my own mind.

All I can do is pray, and hope for happier times to come around, to lift me out of this dark period of my life. It was only by God’s grace that I found him in my heart. It was something that came to me so quickly, and is still something very new to my life. I may not be the best Christian, but I know in my heart that I have God’s love, and if I am with him, he will always help and guide me.

To the world I may be depressed, but in God’s eyes I am hope. I may be known as Gay to this world, but in his eyes, I am complete.

Resistance Movement

under Secret Stories, Written on September 21, 2011

A “Hard Rock” group (Resistance Movement) emailed me recently and told me that Your Secret Name inspired them to write a new song called Secret Name. Although this style might not be your norm, I encourage you to check out their new album The Great Constant.

The lyrics to the song are below. Or you can find them on Facebook or MySpace

Secret Name

I can see the lights muffled bright
Off in the Distance
Try as I might, Dig in my heels
I can’t resist them
I can feel the wind Rushing fast
I’ve closed my eyes dear
Here take my hand, hold it so tight
I’m not sure where we’re going
Consider this: we are what we do
We are what we’ve done
All the things we’ve said
Will tell us if we’re dead
So if we reach that place
The place amongst the living
Will you keep us there?
We’re here for the saving
My heart has things
Worth undoing
Both my lungs
Have started losing

I’ll ignore the Labels
I will turn the tables
I won’t stay the same
Hear my secret name


under Secret Stories, Written on August 12, 2011

I am a Christian who has struggled with alcoholism.  This is something that I was born with and is mine to own and fight.  With God and his spirit inside me and as a member of AA I can put this horror to sleep.  I can’t kill it, but it can be kept asleep.

I have always been lifted in this fight with the strong sense of a mission God has for me.  A mission that can only be pursued with a sober mind and soul.  I may not have a sense of where this mission will take me in detail, but I do know the direction.  My secret name is “Mission.”

sexually abused

under Secret Stories, Written on July 7, 2011

When I first saw the title of your book, Your Secret Name; I thought initially that I really don’t need to read this because I already know what my secret name is. So this book lingered in my Kindle Archives unread until…

I realized that just because you know something doesn’t mean you walk in it.

Nine years ago, I did a Bible study-Experiencing God by Dr. Blackaby. I was routinely answering one of the questions about who God was in my life when I stopped and thought about my life and how God’s redemptive love saved me. I grew up in church and I always loved Jesus, but I didn’t receive Him as my Savior until I was 23 years old. One of the issues I struggled with was being sexually abused by my father as a child. I had repressed those memories, until my sister talked to me about it.

Then I remembered. I was angry at God, my deceased father, myself..I thought why did that have to happened to me,etc. Eventually I came to a place of forgiveness, but it was a long dark depressing journey to get there. When I began writing who God was that day-it started with-

“I He am who loves you. I am He who has restored you. I am all you need. I am He that will never leave you. I am your Hope. I am He who has mendeth your broken heart. I am your victory.” Then that still small voice said that “I have changed your name. You will have the confidence and boldness only I can give you. You are a victor, a conqueror. Start seeing yourself as I see you. You are the victorious one-You will always have the victory over your circumstances.”

So when I began reading Your Secret Name, I already knew what my name was. However, was I living it? Sometimes I felt like a failure although outwardly I have all the trappings of success-Ivy League education and a well-paying job,etc. But why did I feel like a failure? I was not walking in what God has for me. After reading your book, I was encouraged to embrace the name and to seek His will, and not my own. I know that God has a wonderful plan for me and that He loves me with an everlasting love. The attribute of God that reflects how I see Him has always been Jehovah Nissi.

When I took the Name test on this website, I clicked failure and the new name was Victor.

Thank you for writing this book and sharing your own personal testimony.


under Secret Stories, Written on June 25, 2011

With my birth name meaning “gift from God” and having survived a number of suicide attempts I’m inclined to think God has a special plan for me. The problem is even after thinking God has healed me and helped me conquer depression and cutter, it’s still an on going battle. The enemy brings the same attacks over and over making me feel unloved and unnoticed.

I was once called unstable when I was struggling with depression and cutting but it still rings in my head at times because of the ongoing battle. It’s like I’m stuck in between healing and not yet being that ruthless fearless faith warrior I’m meant to be. I’m still struggling with God like Jacob did, not relenting until I receive my blessing.

On the other hand I think I may be after the wrong blessing or at least one for the wrong reasons. Perhaps God is not delivering the blessing I desire because I’m not yet ready or because what I want will be a hindrance to walking with God. Whatever the reason, I know I need to trust God’s provision even though we all know it’s so easy to give in to discouragement.


under Secret Stories, Written on June 14, 2011

Something happened today that I don’t know if I’ll be able to type out or not, but I will try. The kids are running around, screaming, but I need to attempt to get this down. I was prompted to finish a free kindle book I’d downloaded some time ago (last year maybe?). I tried and tried to get through it, and though it was super interesting, i just couldn’t. Frequent interruptions, you name it – no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get past 50%.

I picked back up yesterday and finished today. It was about finding your secret name. The one God has given everyone. I really wasn’t sure I had one…but I kept reading. About 75% in, the word, “love” was whispered to me. I was just amazed. Could that be my secret name? At first I doubted. Finally, I accepted and went with what was whispered to me. Maybe it was. I let it sink in. That is what God has been working on with me, so it made sense…but I just thought it would be an actual name.

I was so happy with my name never the less! A name picked out by God! After hearing for years and years about secret names, I finally had one. I sat in shock for quite some time, just feeling God’s love. I read the rest of the book and found out about the responsibility of having to walk in your new name. This was huge, considering God had been working on my heart for so long … trying to take my heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh and then to be given the responsibility of having to actually walk the walk…to love. Oh, it was all good in theory. Now though, it was time to ask for God’s love to work through me.

What was once impossible was now being asked of me. Honestly though, I still doubted. Did I really hear right? Was that my name? Love? could that be it? I even took out my bible…opened it and turned to nothing that made sense. Opened my pink, “real” bible, and turned to “do not test the Lord your God” (in Luke, I believe). I knew then to stop doubting, stop asking for confirmation and just believe. Just believe in His love.

I finished my time with Him, as nap time was over, feeling immensely loved and held.

A little bit later, I was washing dishes, looking out the window and a completely random name ( I guess???? wasn’t sure what it was???) came to mind. Phillina. I didn’t know what it was or meant. Not even how to spell it. Phillina? Fillina? I just knew it meant something…or so it felt like. I went to the computer and googled it…the spelling i typed in automatically was Phillina. It came back as a very, very rare name…but it was listed as Greek, and get this, the meaning is, “lover of mankind” or “loving”, depending on the website.

I nearly fell over – except i was sitting. I knew for sure, that was my name. Phillina. I started crying. It’s so beautiful…and I never saw it coming. I sat there, aware that I was in the presence of Jesus, but unable to do much more than smile through my tears. I couldn’t even find the words to pray. i can’t wait to wear my name, like it says in the bible. I guess my question was answered…and how.


under Secret Stories, Written on June 13, 2011

I met Matt Harmon last week.

I am proud of both he and Kara Ericson.

They are brave and courageous and I resepect them greatly.

Here is Matt’s art and story…

I was raised in church from very young, but for the longest time I didn’t understand much about  Church, Christianity, the bible and Jesus. But I what I did know was just all head knowledge. My family was also the kind who would attend for a season, stop for a season, and return for another season of attendance. I didn’t know much about what it really meant to be a Christian and what it meant to believe. So when I found myself in a time of great struggle for the first time I didn’t have anything to place any trust or faith.

I also didn’t have much to find value in myself. I grew up poor, with fighting between parents a lot, my sister getting pregnant in high school, and feeling judged by church people.

When I was 16 I became really depressed. There was no single cause for it. I got bullied a little in school and wasn’t happy with the drama at home. I didn’t know who I was. I wasn’t popular or athletic, was more quiet and introverted. I had friends but most of the time I didn’t feel like I fit in. They were just the group I sort of fell into, and I didn’t react well when I wasn’t invited to events or was the butt of jokes. From school and work I just didn’t feel loved or worthy.

 Being depressed just seemed to make things worse. None of my friends would understand if I was upset and if I expressed myself I was kind of tormented or criticized. That’s kind of how I started cutting. I had tried to take my own life at one point. I’d cut because I had so many confused and bottled up emotions, it felt like a release to cut. I think it started from purposely hurting myself out of frustration and anger and it lead to cutting. This lasted for about a year.

When I went through all that my parents had once sought help from our pastor at the time. He shrugged it all off as normal adolescence confusion and it was just a phase. The pastor didn’t have much to offer me for hope. I couldn’t relate to much he said and he didn’t seem to be very caring. It didn’t help either that the church seemed judgmental of our family. If it was true or not, it felt very much that way.

Somewhere in the middle of the struggling I made friends who had similar struggles but they weren’t very good influences. At times I’d attend other churches. I was growing spiritually curio us I guess you could say. Now that I look back I see God was drawing me closer. A while later just shortly before returning to school as a senior I happened to be invited by a few people on Facebook to a hog roast a church in the next town was hosting. I don’t really remember if it was the music or something the youth pastor said when speaking, but I do remember feeling hopeful of a better future. God had pricked my heart just enough to break the hardness of my heart. Before, I had wanted nothing to do with God or anybody that claimed to be Christians.

I was hurt by them but that day God showed me otherwise.

Fast forward a bit, I gained a friendship with the youth pastor, started going to youth group, made some new friends at the church and started attending regularly. This whole time God slowly changed my heart but I was experiencing a lot of mixed emotions, I was so ashamed of my sin and there were other parts of my life and anticipated future I didn’t want to change because of my faith. Off and on I’d get depressed thinking about it all and I’d cut at times but it wasn’t ad often or as much as a hold on me as before.

 I soon wanted to pursue youth ministry because of the influence I had from my church leaders and because I so wanted to help kids who had similar struggles. I knew the several times I had tried to end my life God had saved me for a reason, He delivered me from my own destruction and I knew he had a plan for me. But I still struggled thinking about my future. I was about to attend art school. I had wanted to make a career out out of my art for the longest time but God put this new desire in my heart and I felt called toward ministry.

 The depression continued off and on because of these struggles and later adjusting to college at art school and trying to fit in. I left later to study youth ministry. Sadly this was where I had my biggest struggles with depression and cutting. Again I had the trouble of not feeling like I fit in, trouble from home, and feeling unliked. My biggest problem was I sought to find my value in what other people thought of me instead of God. My shame from sin also grew much more and I began to hate myself more than ever.

I didn’t feel worthy to live and all the anger, sadness, and frustration I had from all this I took out on myself in cutting. I was angry at myself for not living up to high expectations and admiration from others. I thought there was something wrong with me I couldn’t fix.

 Later I told some friends about my struggles. At first these friends were very supportive and helpful. In the coming months though some friends became the reason for me cutting more. They became tired of me and ridiculed me, calling me horrible names and falsely accusing me of sins or character flaws. It hurt so much to be feel tortured by people who used to be my friends and were Christians.

Very few of my friends cared about what I was going through. It just grew worse to see them have compassion for other but not me, support To Write Love On Her Arms but yet ridicule or bully me, focus more on me sinning by cutting, or saying I was sinning by being depressed. Faculty and staff added to some of the pain as well. It all became too much to bear emotionally and spiritually that I was cutting several times a week for almost a year, cutting until I felt the slightest bit of emotional relief which made it more dangerous for myself.

 I didn’t begin to stop until I finally had to go to the emergency room after one night. I hid it all to well after I got to the hospital. My youth pastor knew I was struggling with it and I ended up calling him to help me go to the hospital while walking out of the house still hiding it from my family. But the did find out later that night.

This was the biggest test of my faith to date to feel so alone in a struggle very feel understood and to have to endure so much ridicule from Christian believers. I grew angry and bitter but I didn’t lose faith in God, just his people. Again God saved me from destroying myself. The months following was a lot of healing. I left school and went back home. The bitterness towards believers continued bu God taught me a great deal about forgiveness, I felt his presence evermore and sense He wasn’t giving up on me.

God also revealed to me my problem of finding my value in others and Jesus beam more of a friend than ever before and I was being shown how to find my value in Christ alone.

One of the hardest parts about all this was the healing. People find it so hard to believe I can heal from all that and a little over half a year after last cutting be fine. All I can say is it was a miracle. I didn’t go through counseling, sometimes they made it worse. It was just God working in my life and it wasn’t by anything I had done, for him to work in me. I wasn’t being religious in my bible reading or church attendance, just continually crying out to God from being hurt, honestly seeking answers and healing, and wanting to terribly to know love and to feel it.

Homelife is still hard and my emotions can still get the best of me. There have been times even the past month I have wanted to cut, or have had nightmares reliving the moments I cut, but it hasn’t had a strong grasp on me like it did before. I know now more than ever God is going to use my story to change my character for the better and to help youth with similar struggles. I feel so honored to be able to use my past as a means to glorify God and share how great He is.